I’m so anxious and up tight and irritable all the god damn time and I hate it

I’m just gonna start kinda blocking out stressful things

Yo I’m losin weight again what da heeeelllll

(Source: unrulykitten, via visualamor)

I refuse to admit that I am lonely. Maybe I am alone a lot. I barely hang out with people anymore, maybe that’s my fault, or maybe people just don’t want to hang out with me, whatever. That’s hard to grasp, I guess, not having people who want to be around you all the time, but it’s nothing new. I guess I’m just not doing enough with my time. Often times, sitting in bed at night, after school, during school, in public, I can feel very alone, but like I said, this is not loneliness, being lonely is weakening, it means I need people around me to be content. I don’t need people. 

I don’t need a blog to Complain to, I need a person. Ha hahahaha ha haa ha

Today I got a lot of things off of my chest that I never had the appropriate time to talk about with a certain person, and I found some closure, and I cried a little in the middle of the library, but they weren’t sad tears, they made me feel stronger, so it was more of an empowering moment rather than an embarrassing one.

Today I feel strong.

I feel unhappy a lot and it makes me not want to be around people, and this makes me feel bad because i’m pushing people away for this reason and it’s not even their fault really, but at the same time I can’t say it’s my fault either.

I am just meant to be a solitary person I guess.

come on Heather, you’re supposed to be over this, remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eat more, idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Showing new people my private blog is cool because I’m opening up about things or whatever and accepting them as how I am, but it’s also scary as fuck, and by scary I mean hahaha fuck I’m gonna puke